In the words of Liz Lemon, “blerg” and “nerds”
Conversation over Gchat, which apparently isn’t really Gchat, with my friend Dana:
Me: I’ve been having really weird dreams for the past week.
Dana: Are they realistic dreams? Or not so much?
Me: Actually, they’ve been an odd mix of dead grandparents and sex.
Me: Not together.
Dana: Grateful for small mercies.
Me: Ugh. I just realized it’s been a year since I got dumped.
Dana: Oy. I’m sorry.
Me: Time. It flies.
Dana: At least it’s flying away from the girl who dumped you.
Me: Yes, but unfortunately not flying toward anyone else.
Me: Except in my dreams.
Me: The ones not about my dead grandparents.
Me: To be clear.
Dana: You are; you just don’t know who yet.
Me: Meh. Julie Andrews isn’t even interested in me.
Me: Even though she’s totally single now.
Me: Because her husband died.
Dana: I vote for finding someone younger.
Me: Meh. Meh is all I have to say.
Dana: Someday, my friend.
Me: Blah.
Me: Oh, I can also say blah.
Dana: But do you harrumph?
Me: Not really, but I can cough up a heart sigh for emphasis.
Dana: A heart sigh?
Me: An apropos typo, but I meant “hearty.” Like stew.
Dana: You’re funny.
Me: Uh huh.
Me: (Apparently, I can type to you only in grunty words.)
Dana: Bah.
Me: Argh.
Dana: Grar.
Me: Moo.
Dana: Hrm?
Me: I was trying to transition us to animal sounds.
Dana: Quack.
Me: Meow.
Me: … is the sound my life partners make.
Dana: I suppose it would be inappropriate to say mrow.
Me: Ruh-roh.
I was personally fond of the “Grar.”
I’m definitely more of a harrumph kinda gal.
I think you’ve just ruined stew for me. From now on, whenever anyone describes a stew as “hearty”, I’m going to wonder whether that means it contains cut-up pieces of heart.
Relevant: http://www.brown.edu/Departments/Italian_Studies/dweb/texts/DecShowText.php?myID=nov0409&lang=eng
Great. Now whenever someone presents me with my dead lover’s heart, all I’ll be able to think about is how much I’m craving stew.
Heart and Food combined together make me think of Dr Buckland, who supposedly ate the heart of dead French King. my brain moves in funny ways…..
Hearty now reminds me of sexy dead grandparents.
Yeah I linked above to Boccaccio’s 9th story of the 4th day of his Decameron, where Guillaume de Roussillon causes his wife to eat the heart of her lover, whom he has secretly murdered. Ah, World lit. You have increased us all.
i prefer “bleurrrrrgh”. the number of “r’s” is an indicator of the degree of angst.
Whenever you come back, I realized just how much I’d been missing you. (Oh, the tenses in that thought… Also, I can’t believe it’s been a year, it doesn’t seem like that long ago!
(I’m just quite cheery today, you can tell.)
Also, I’m kinda sorta dating a boy who has cats.
It seemed like something to share.
You slut!
(I want details.)
Kinda sora?
I’m a Hhmph person, myself.
dead grandparents… sex… julie andrews….
I think it’s pretty clear: you want Julie Andrews to have sex with your grandparents.
According to Google, “Grar” isn’t a word either. Facists.
You sound like my girlfriend with her dreams.Except she’s not single. She just thinks she is. Gah, I’m lonely.
Ok, please explain why WE are not Gchatting? AM I NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU AND YOUR VAMPIRE WORK HOURS?
I am also quite adept at making random noises. Also, saying stuff like, “Go get that thing” and expecting people to know what I mean.
I may be your grandparent.
i think this post proves that i’m an even bigger dork than i’d realized.
and that’s saying a lot.
i almost sent you this the other night when we were harrumphing and grar-ing, but i didn’t. so the time is now.
http://www.collegehumor.com/upick/6694928/text-puns
they totally win at beating a theme to a clever, entertaining death.
I’m so disappointed in you. How could you forget “Gorp” and “Mmph”!
And, also, I’m a pathetic excuse for someone who lives in the 21st century because I was all “what is Gchat? Is it some sort of stew or special kind of bread? Then I finally I got it. And I’ve decided everyone needs to just stick to using the damn telephone or the quill and papyrus with pigeon messengers.
I’ve so been there. But with much more vodka. XO
I was thinking about how someone might comment on how when you truly love yourself and are not focused on it, love will happen, and then I thought back to when I found love: I had given up on love (that part was true), but I was also working a full-time job, two part-time jobs, taking two summer classes, and was addicted to Diet Coke and Slim Fast (and seriously only survived on the two). Then I found love. TA-DA! Magic recipe! So, just go ahead and add some Diet Coke and Slim Fast to your life (I highly recommend the dark chocolate flavor), and soon Julie Andrews will be running into your arms. Trust.
This is the best advice anyone has ever given me. This whole time I’ve been addicted to Fat Slow, but at you’re urging, I’m going to switch to Slim Fast. *fingers crossed*
And throw out the Coke Diet, too. WORTHLESS!
I’m trying to cough up a heart sigh for you, too, but mostly we just cough up hairballs around this joint. I hope that’s good enough. Sorry.
Mrrp.
Topaz and Nimbus often say Mrrp.
Don’t leave that one out next time.
I’m more of a bah humbug type myself. Although I do actually, on occassion, hurrumph. And then I do this weird horse lip thing that freaks folk out. At least they leave me alone then. Yes.
It’s been A YEAR!? Already? I think you should celebrate by going out and sleeping with the first person you see. It’ll be fun! I’ll do it too. For your sake. And then we’ll say ‘ooooh,’ ‘aah,’ and the like.
Eh?
eh?
I love this conversation! It makes me love you both. I’m fond of “Aargh!” for some reason. I think I’m more of a hysteric than you guys.
I am partial to ‘bleargh’ — a combination of blah, meh and argh. A confusing mix of feelings. Gotto keep them guessing you know (since I lack lack of clarity in my life, as it were). That paranthetical is mighty confusing, is it not ?
Mission accomplished. My work here is done.
Meow. That is all.
I’m a fan of ‘meh’, ‘hmmm’, ‘gah!’ and ‘pfffffffffffffft’
We should Gchat some time, and make some kind of experimental noise/text poem.
I’m REALLY going to enjoy following you!!
I’m cry-laughing…
(Laughing because, well obviously this is the best conversation ever. Crying because I wasn’t the one you were Roh-roh’ing on not really Gchat.)
“meh” is overused. and i’d like to see more “rawr” from you, frankly.
I think you may have just written a screenplay. Genius.
Honestly I haven’t laughed like this in awhile. Dead grandparents and sex but thankfully not together. ROFL. Thank you for giving me back my laughter!!!
I personally like “blergh” “argh” and “nha”.
funny conversation, it made me laugh here! not the kind where you write “lol” while keeping a serious face. really laughing out loud.