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You might be alone with cats if …

February 22, 2010

Elton John called. He wants his glasses back.

… your friends mail you greeting cards with at least one sickeningly adorable feline on the cover, especially for Valentine’s Day or another lovey-dovey event traditionally celebrated with a partner, signed with love from your pets.

This one arrived a little late, but I can’t really fault Isabel and Teva, because I still haven’t taken down the 2009 “30 Rock” calendar in the kitchen. I just can’t bring myself to hang up the 365 Days of Kittens that my mom sent me. Sometimes I don’t think she knows me at all.

The outside of the card says, “The way I see it …” and the inside reads, “You’re pretty special! Happy Valentine’s Day!” Aww, shucks. Thanks, cats. You’re special, too. Then there was this personalized note:

If "footwork" is code for "joining," my answer is still no. Also, I'd prefer that you refer to me as "Mom."

We're not movin' on up anytime soon.

The sentiment and gesture were lovely, but the return address gives me pause. You’d think after almost five years in Cambridge, the cats would know by now where we live. Or maybe this is wishful thinking on their part, in which case, I have news for you, girls: Unless you want to start pulling your own weight and stop eating organic, no one’s relocating to Brookline.

(Many thanks to Danna for having excellent penmanship, a kind heart and thumbs.)

4 Comments leave one →
  1. alexandria permalink
    February 22, 2010 4:57 PM

    i’m jealous! no valentine from my furry one, alas. (though i did get a hot pink, pop-up, 3-d valentine with arms– yes, paper fold-out arms, for hugging– from my parents.)

    (… wait, maybe i shouldn’t admit that on the internet.)

    (just one of the many reasons i’m excited my little sister will procreate soon, and hopefully provide them with a new and better outlet.)

  2. MirtoP permalink
    February 22, 2010 7:17 PM

    What was that about a 2009 ’30 Rock’ calendar?

  3. February 23, 2010 4:00 AM

    Alexandria: Well, yeah, a card from my mom is par for the course. It was armless – you win that round – but it had a puppy AND a kitty touching noses. It was signed from “M. & L.” I’m not going to get into the specifics of why my mom and I often speak only in letters, but at this point all you need to know is that we do it to spite my brother. And in this case, the “M.” obviously stands for Mom, and the “L.” is for Layla, her poodle, which she often refers to as my “sister.” So for those keeping track, I had four valentines this year: one parent, one dog/sibling and two cats. Still no VD, which under these circumstances would be illegal in most states.

    MirtoP: A fabulous gentleman with impeccable taste in blogs gave me that calendar. Maybe you know him?

  4. Vic permalink
    February 25, 2010 10:41 AM

    Hey, did you ever send that birthday card to your dad? You know, the one that blatantly insults your brother?

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