Now you’re up to date about my date. Or possibly extremely confused.
Remember several posts ago when I ever so casually mentioned that I’d gone out on a first date?
And it was kind of like I was just leading you on, because then I never mentioned it again?
And I still stayed uncharacteristically mum – and also, I’m pretty sure that’s not how you spell “yes” or “details” – because it was way too soon to be writing about the date?
And maybe you’ve already forgotten about the date I never wrote about, because you cruise a lot of blogs – and no, I’m not calling you a blog whore, per se, but you get around and everyone knows and the only person you’re fooling is yourself – and I shouldn’t be so self-absorbed as to assume that you’re eagerly anticipating updates on my oft-odd little life usually spent alone with my cats Teva and Isabel except for that one departure recently when I went on the date you may or may not have any recollection of?
And now I’m reminding you of the date – of which you may not even have any prior knowledge, because this is your first time at AWC and you’re not even sure what AWC is, and now you’re Googling that acronym in a separate tab, and you’re all, “Is she talking about Aviation Weather Center? Or the Association for Women in Communications? Or Arizona Western College? Or the Alabama Wrestling Club? Or Architectural Workers Combine? Or the American Whippet Club? Or Air War College?”
And now you’re completely distracted and not at all thinking about me and my date and my AWC and instead you’re wondering how wicked cool it would have been to go to college in the fucking air? And why’d your parents have to be so practical/sucky – practically sucky, let’s say – and insist that you attend a state school in rural Ohio, when you really wanted to study in Boston because this one time in 10th grade you took a history class field trip to New England and it seemed like an awesome place? But probably not as awesome as college in the air, but maybe you could have gotten your master’s later, except the university is actually “a military education system that develops leaders for the long war and beyond,” and you’re a lover not a fighter, so it probably wasn’t meant to be, and it’s just as well you went to Ohio University because you don’t have any school loans, which allows you to splurge on Evo, an organic, grain-free cat kibble, as well as Spot’s Stew, a nutritious wet food distributed by Halo, which is co-owned by Ellen DeGeneres, who owes you $60,000 and is probably a vampire because she keeps getting younger and hotter?
OK, well, I suppose we’re all on the same page again. And guess what? It’s still way too soon to talk about my date.
Except now there have been two dates.
And through some savvy sleuthing on the information superhighway, she fessed up to stumbling upon AWC. Although it’s within the realm of possibility that she actually was referring to the Atlanta Whitewater Club. Or American Wood Council. Or Aquatic Weed Control.
(Nevertheless … Hi, Katie! Very much looking forward to Sunday. For our third date.)