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Turning 30 wouldn’t be so scary if -30- didn’t mean “the end.” I blame journalists. Except I’m a journalist. So I guess it’s all my fault. As usual.

October 7, 2010

Today is my 30th birthday.

I’ve been dreading it for months. A lot of months. In cat years, that’s, like, a really long time.

Not just because my grand plan to pretend as if it weren’t happening by procuring a passport, fleeing the country and jetting to Germany to visit an old friend living abroad fell flat because of mismatched schedules and prior commitments.

Not because, in lieu of a fabulous European getaway, my actual gift to myself was cat toys for Teva and Isabel. Not because my other gift to myself was paying my annual car insurance premium in full. And not because my other-other gift to myself was laser hair removal because some of my follicles are apparently super psyched about getting older.

Nonetheless, I’m embracing the ripe adult age of 30. I’m wiser and happier. More experienced. More comfortable in my own skin than ever before. Also? I have to believe that Tina Fey would not have named her awesome-sauce sitcom “30 Rock” if 30 didn’t, in fact, rock. Tina Fey would never lead me astray.

But I’d been fearing this milestone because I was fretting facing it alone. That I wouldn’t have a partner to wake me up with a kiss at the crack of noon, look into my sleepy eyes and whisper “Happy birthday, beautiful.” Or “Happy birthday, baby.” Or “Happy birthday, beautiful baby.” Which sounds kind of childish, but whatever, back off, my imaginary lover can call me whatever she wants because I’m accommodating.

Something unexpected happened on the way to 30, though. I started this blog in February, fully believing it would be yet another endeavor that keeps me sequestered late at night in my apartment, secluded, solo and stark naked Wait. Doesn’t everyone blog in the nude? Just me, then? All right.

Somehow – and truly, I don’t know how or why – some of the world’s most incredible people have found their way here, bringing so much love into my life and overwhelming me daily with their awesomeness.

So many folks have reached out to me, sending along stories about themselves and photos of their pets. Several of you have even said that you don’t think of me as Jessica, but rather “Alone … with cats,” which is oddly flattering. I mean, I’d prefer to be known as “Great … in bed.” But that’s my own fault for lacking foresight.

When I fail at blogging and Twitter, which happens *a lot* because I’m kind of a perfectionist at failing, you guys tweet and email to say you miss me. And when I take a break from real-life failing to then blog about my failures, which is sort of a fucked-up but self-sustaining strategy, you’re excited to see me and get all riled up like my cats do when I come home, hopping into the windows of my apartment and rubbing their furry little faces on the screens in anticipation. And yes, I just compared you all to Teva and Isabel. Which *obviously* is the highest compliment I could ever possibly pay you. You’re welcome. Your faces probably aren’t furry, though. Unless you’re one of the three men who read this blog. Or you have some sort of terrible hormonal disorder. Or you’re over 30 and haven’t gotten laser hair removal yet. It’s on sale this month.


I know this is a kind of dark, but there are two cats in that window who are *so* fucking happy to see me.


When I was feeling glum over the summer, my kindhearted Twitter wife Meredith Blumoff (who just started a fantastic blog of her own) mailed me a tin all the way from Atlanta containing the most scrumptious strawberry shortbread cookies. They were baked in the shape of hearts but didn’t travel well and arrived all broken and sad, which was pretty much a metaphor for how I was feeling at the time. The treats, which were sent through the postal service in a generic box by a total stranger who also forgot to include a note, were mostly reduced to a white powdery substance that I suspected might be anthrax. Really tasty anthrax. Maybe people wouldn’t hate terrorists so much if they attacked us with baked goods. Unless the baked goods weren’t delish. That would really hit us where it hurts. I should probably stop giving advice to al-Qaeda.


Best. anthrax. ever.


In an effort to repay some of the kindness you all have shown me, I’ve taken to playing matchmaker with readers. A gal named Aurora told me she’d recently settled in San Francisco and was feeling a bit friendless. I entroduced (get it? e-introduced? can we make that a thing?) her to Sarah, and suggested the two of them hang out. I never heard from Aurora again, but Sarah’s still blogging, so I’m assuming Sarah is a serial killer and Aurora is dead. Or Aurora has been too busy to email me. Either seems plausible.

Readers from all around the world also have invited me to come visit. They may be joking, but I take everything literally and I will totally be that blogger who passes herself off as excessively overweight in order to buy an extra plane ticket – Teva and Isabel don’t do cargo – shows up on your doorstep unannounced and stays until you have to resort to awkward conversations such as “you’ve worn out your welcome.” And “we’re contacting the authorities.” And “we thought you were kidding when you said you blogged in the nude.” I totally wasn’t.

So, no, I didn’t make it to Europe for my birthday. But I travel around the globe every day when I read the blogs of people who live far away that I’ve grown so incredibly close to.

And yes, today I’m 30. And single.

But you guys have taught me that I’m not alone.

I’m Alone … with cats.

81 Comments leave one →
  1. October 7, 2010 4:32 AM

    Happy 30 Rock Birthday, Alone… with cats Jess! Lots of love from one of your legions of global followers.

  2. October 7, 2010 4:45 AM

    You can totally come stay with me if you travel to Sydney. And as a special birthday present I’m dedicating tomorrow’s corset friday post to YOU!

    • October 7, 2010 9:00 PM

      oh, i’ve traveled with the nurse – and she’s all that and more! go visit her! play with her corsets!

  3. October 7, 2010 4:56 AM

    I take it back. I’m totally European. Britain is so all over Europe – you can come visit me instead! Although, you should know we live in a mouldy flat in the ghetto. And I’m not nearly as coherent as I am on-line. And I’m really not that coherent on-line (this being another, classic example). But still – the offer stands.

    Also, when you say “Tina Fey” would never let you down – don’t you mean “You” would never let you down?

    Happy Birthday!! X x

    ps. You never mentioned that your cats could act. So is this a picture from their performance in the feline version of ‘Psycho’?

  4. October 7, 2010 6:22 AM

    Happy Birthday! Today is my son Josh’s birthday too – glad to know he’s in good company. Oh….regarding blogging in the nude – don’t buy leather furniture if you live in a cold climate (and I know you do)……just saying.

  5. October 7, 2010 7:13 AM

    HAPPY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY FELLOW LIBRA! No wonder I think you are fantastic!! Your genius has come from the stars!!

    John Lennon (one of my fave geniuses, allow me to date myself) was born October 9th, my Dad who passed in 2001 was a noted Editorial Cartoonist in Cleveland and publications throughout the U.S. (Ray Osrin) was born October 5, my fave sarcastic guy Simon Cowell (sorry, I think he is too great) is born either today or tomorrow and last but not least….ME! I was born October 20th….

    Love your “30 Rock” comment…..turning 30 was the hardest for me of all of my many, many, many birthdays but in hindsight it DID rock!

    You aren’t “alone with cats” you always have all of US who think YOU ROCK!!!

    Love you!!

  6. October 7, 2010 8:41 AM

    Hell, now you have somewhere to crash in Greece as well. This might seem weird to you because, wel I’ve left like, what? Three notes EVER. But that’s how my family rolls so that’s how I roll. Our summers are filled with a plethora of strangers sleeping on our couches. Payment is in the form of witty jokes, a love of alcohol, a love of purchasing alcohol, and holding ones own in heated Mediterranean-tempered debates. Oh and we have a surly, burly and totally awesome cat called Shantih that will ignore you until she wants to be patted for exactly 33 seconds and scratch you when she decides she’s had enough. Another plus is that my dad has an old-school Greek moustache (you know, the big curly ones) and he will say silly -and often, inappropriate (not as cool)- things.
    I mean this in both senses: you are welcome to come, and also as a pre-empt to your thank you.

    Yeah, that. And also, HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

  7. Dizzy permalink
    October 7, 2010 8:55 AM

    Is 30 really the end? God, that sucks. Not that I’m over 30 or anything. Not even saying I had my own 30th birthday freak-out a few years ago. Jeez, you’re old.

    Happy birthday! I won’t tell anyone (who hasn’t already read your internet announcement to the world) that you aren’t still 29 like I am… sorta.

    Want a new kitten for your birthday? I totally have an extra one that I’m sure you would like. I could ship her to you, with hopefully better results than Meredith’s cookies. Just let me know.

  8. khickey11 permalink
    October 7, 2010 8:55 AM

    Happy Birthday, beautiful! ;o)

  9. October 7, 2010 9:23 AM

    Happy Birthday my friend. I love you even if you do wear jeans and long sleeves to the beach!

  10. That Girl permalink
    October 7, 2010 9:38 AM

    Happy Birthday! If you came to DC, I would give you the best tour ever and make you pie that bears no resemblance to anthrax. Or a cake, as I guess most people eat that for their birthday. Your birthday, you can dictate the menu, because I’m accommodating like that.

    It should be considered.

  11. The Good The Bad & The Random permalink
    October 7, 2010 9:51 AM

    happy birthday. make 30 everything you want it to be for yourself. fuck it’s bad reputation. i’ve heard its the best years of your life.

  12. October 7, 2010 9:54 AM

    Happy birthday!! Dude, your 20s are melodramatic as fuck. In your 30s, you can be just as immature, but you just don’t give a fuck. Own the crazy. WORK THE CRAZY! Your 30s will be awesome! I’m halfway through mine and much more comfortable in my (rather plentiful) skin than I ever thought I’d be. And yes, cats. Lots of them. The biggest downside thus far is the weird chin hairs. But you’ve got a few years to those yet.

    I’d say you’re welcome to visit me in Texas, but do you REALLY wanna come to Texas? Yeah, that’s what I thought. 🙂

  13. October 7, 2010 10:53 AM

    Happy 30th Birthday!!!!! As an old fart, it’s really tempting for me to call you a youngun and say things like OMG you are so still young compared to me and Bob Dole! Yeah, that’s totally comforting. I remember the angst I felt when I turned 30 so I will not tell you that you are still young compared to Betty White. In order to cheer you up though, I want to take you out for drinks next time I am in Boston. Or I can just drop off boxes of cat food for you. Or I will promise not to stalk and murder you. You are welcome.

  14. October 7, 2010 11:05 AM


    2. I’d like you to point out to me one blogger (except, maybe, stay-at-home Mommy Bloggers) (but even them sometimes) who does NOT blog in the nude every now and again.

    3. I can one up the cookies with mailable CUPCAKES. But I don’t think addressing a packaging to ALONE WITH CATS, SOME STREET, SOME CITY, SOME STATE would work.

  15. steff permalink
    October 7, 2010 11:14 AM

    what a great post! happy birthday to you!!! as a fellow libra who is approaching her 30th (well in 12 days and 2 years) i know what you mean when faced with that number. it seems to have such a stigma attached to it but the more i talk to people who’ve been there the more i look forward to my 30’s and leaving those 20-somethings in my dust.

    ps – one of the greatest moments of my day is when i come home from work to see my cat perched on the windowsill or end table, peering through the glass at me in anticipation of my return so i totally get it.

    pps – i’ve already GOT those gnarly chin hairs. what the hell should i prepare for once i hit 30? forehead pubes?! YEESH!

  16. October 7, 2010 11:22 AM

    Many happy returns of the day, dude. I can tell you this: my 30’s were way better than my 20’s and my 40’s so far have been awesome. I am wishing the same for you.

  17. October 7, 2010 11:34 AM

    Happy Birthday!!! And also, you forgot, you’re the Bombdiggity! I’ll forgive the oversight though because that’s what happens as you get old. You forget stuff. Now, where was I?
    And, while, I would also like to send you some baked goods to celebrate this special day and for you to know that you are, in fact, never alone, even with cats, I like you and I would never do that to you because then you probably wouldn’t make it to 31. So this is my present to you.

  18. dru permalink
    October 7, 2010 12:00 PM

    🙂 Happy birthday!

    This is a wonderfully sincere post. I like it.

    I also like you ❤

  19. October 7, 2010 12:03 PM

    First, happy birthday.

    The MOST FRIGGIN’ AWESOME PEOPLE are born in October. Did ya know that?

    Maybe you did.

    At 30, I was actually married with-2-year-old.

    But at 36 I was divorced-with-8-year-old.

    But both days involved cake.

    And a day with cake is a good day indeed.

    I hope you get cake today.

    You deserve cake. Today any many other days.

    PS – Topaz and Nimbus say “Happy Birthday” too.

    PPS – I am WAY pissed that Meredith did not ever send ME broken strawberry-anthrax cookies.

  20. October 7, 2010 12:04 PM

    hey *happy birthday*!!! mine was yesterday! we’re both LIBRAS. how about that.

    i didn’t realize you’re a jessica, too. and also a journalist (like me).

    i, too, panicked (and panicked) about turning 30 (two years ago). the panic finally stopped when i realized, hey, it’s better to turn 30 than *not* turn 30, if you catch my (depressing, but realistic) drift.

    all joking aside, you seem quite fabulous. and you will run into that special lady (what am i? a grandmother? who *says* that?!) when you least expect it. when i stopped trying, i bumped into holly. and here we are, almost 10 years later…still driving each other crazy, but also crazy in love.

    so far so good re: my 30s. i think the next decade will only bring great things for you. enjoy your day!!

  21. MirtoP permalink
    October 7, 2010 12:11 PM

    Hah, now people will find your blog when they search for “laser hair removal,” which I have no doubt was your plan all along. Ten thousand more hits a day, for sure.
    Have a great day (and see you later at the News Hut)!

  22. October 7, 2010 12:30 PM

    HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! And you’re never alone when you have cats. And your cats will divorce you or ruin your credit or make you want to bang your head on a wall over and over again. But don’t worry about me. I am TOTALLY not speaking from experience. Except maybe that last one.

  23. October 7, 2010 12:42 PM

    Happy birthday to a very funny lady. And her cats. And her laser treatment, of which I’m jealous.

  24. andygirl permalink
    October 7, 2010 1:14 PM

    Happy Birthday, Baby! *muah*

    welcome to the 30 club. it’s nice in here. come on in.

    if you ever don’t hate Portland enough to actually come here, you’re always welcome to stay with me. just say it with me: I want to go to there.

    also: sometimes my face is a little furry. sometimes it’s because I need to pluck. sometimes it’s because every inch of my home is covered in cat fur and laying my head down achieves some attractive results.

  25. October 7, 2010 2:18 PM

    I think I just fell in love with you. Happy Birthday! You have officially been gifted a stalker.

  26. October 7, 2010 2:24 PM

    Happy Birthday! Hey, Tina’s right, 30 does rock – it’s cool and confident and comfortable with itself. I reckon you’re going to enjoy it and be glad those awkward angsty twenties are behind you. You’ll see!

    I de-lurked especially to tell you that, so take note. And keep blogging! A fresh post from Alone is a treat.

  27. October 7, 2010 2:28 PM

    Oh, and there’s a bed for you here in New Zealand – I know you won’t mind the cat hair on the cover.

  28. October 7, 2010 3:33 PM

    Happy birthday, Great… in blog! Welcome to the 30s. They do rock.

  29. renee permalink
    October 7, 2010 4:16 PM

    happy birthday! i hit the big 40 last month, you think 30 was scary, just wait. just a chipper little bday gift from me to you.

  30. Carolspy permalink
    October 7, 2010 5:58 PM

    Happy birthday, dear friend! For what it’s worth, I think that for many of us, our 30s are a time of developing self confidence and comfort in ourselves, growth in our careers, increased ease in how we interact with the world, meaningful relationships (platonic and passionate) and, overall, a great decade. Welcome to your best decade yet, which will be full of the happiness you deserve!

    • The Bad Lady permalink
      October 8, 2010 10:54 PM

      Aren’t we supposed to all be dead by now? Didn’t we make a pact in college that we’d kill ourselves at 30? Or was it 32? My memory’s not what it used to be.

  31. October 7, 2010 6:31 PM

    Happy Birthday! 30 is (was) awesome! Not that I’d know, because I’m only 27. YES I AM.

    But this is about you. Just wait until you hit 40 – it’s even better (again, not that I’d know). You come to love, even prefer, singledom… there is much freedom in it. But birthday nookie is still a much-desired birthday present. 🙂

    And nothing beats living with cats.

  32. October 7, 2010 6:41 PM


    Smooooooooooch. There I kissed you, and I effing liked it. And on your birthday too.

    Loved this line, by the way: “I entroduced (get it? e-introduced? can we make that a thing?) her to Sarah, and suggested the two of them hang out. I never heard from Aurora again, but Sarah’s still blogging, so I’m assuming Sarah is a serial killer and Aurora is dead.”

    You’re hi-lay.

  33. October 7, 2010 8:29 PM

    heh, happy birthday Jessica!

    i blog in my underwear. All. The. Time!
    fear not, you’re not that alone!

  34. October 7, 2010 9:04 PM

    Happy Birthday, Hotstuff!

    My 30’s were a warm-up for my 40’s, which for the first 8 years have been a BLAST! if i’d known in my 20’s that the best sex of my life would happen in 20 years? well, first i’d have been kinda grossed out thinking about me in my 40’s having sex (kinda like thinking about your mom or something) but then i’d have laughed!

    And hanging with bloggers? I’ve now had 7 successful meet-ups — two of those international — and other than running into one whack job, the rest have been SPLENDID humans!

  35. October 7, 2010 9:18 PM

    Happy Birthday!! I just found you today and you are very funny! And you know that the fact that you were born in 1980 and I was born in 1970, has to make you feel good. And 40? really cool. seriously.

    Also? I really like cats.

    And 30 rock? not to burst your bubble but it’s the address of the building. 30 Rockafeller. But 30s are way better than 20s and you have your 40s to look forwards to. Tina Fey is a genius.

    Also? Germany may be overrated.

  36. BeneathTheSpinLight permalink
    October 7, 2010 9:38 PM

    Happy birthday to my favorite blogger! If I had known, I totally would’ve sent you some awesome anthrax cookies and cat treats (in separate containers, of course) and then you could’ve been alone with cats and cookies. And that’s probably the recipe for the best birthday ever. 🙂

  37. October 7, 2010 10:53 PM

    Ok jackass, I have the chin hair. There I said it. I HAVE the freaky hormonal thing, supposedly estrogen dominance, and I rub progesterone cream on me two times a day. Also I live in Fl which was hard hit by the recession, so no, no laser hair removal till spring brings my next round of student loans. AND I AM FORTY.ONE.

    AND. When I turned thirty, I was EIGTH MONTHS PREGNANT AND STILL IN THE CLOSET. And then I had a unnecessesary tubal ligation, causing the about unfortunate hormone situation, unnecessary because three weeks after I gave birth I realized, hey, I’m gay.

    So okay? You are way, way ahead of where I was at your age. WAY.

    Just imagine an eight months pregnant woman blogging inthe nude. Hmm? What’s that you say? Pass the brain bleach? That’s what I thought you said.

    Go stare at your flat, unmarked tummy and think of THAT.

    And happy birthday sweet girl 🙂

  38. October 8, 2010 2:38 AM

    As, apparently, 33% of your furry-faced readership, I’d like to clarify that I think of you neither as “Jessica” nor “Alone with cats,” but rather, as “Alone with mom-shit-covered cats.”

    Or something along those lines.

  39. October 8, 2010 7:26 AM

    I am new to your blog, came over here because of Nursemyra’s post today. I enjoyed this post very much.

    I would blog in the nude if it wasn’t so darned cold in this house all winter. You are welcome to come here with your cats, Ruby needs a dose of feline superiority; she’s been missing Mike and Smokey.

    I shall return.

    Happy birthday, honey. Thirty isn’t so bad. In fact, for me thirty was a fantastic year. I’m 57 now, so I’m pushing 60, and long ago I realized that you have two options. You can get older or you can die. Sometimes I think dying might be easier, but honestly? There is so much wonderfulness in the world I would hate to miss out on it. All the media hype and advertising messages from the cosmetics corporations have traumatized us about getting older. Time to start ignoring all that crap and embrace your inner crone: the wise scary woman that is developing within you. Remember, teaching you to hate the signs of your journey from callow youth to wise woman provides the makers of cosmetics TONS of money; money you can stop spending on crap to make you look like you are 16 (you hope) and start putting in a piggy bank for your next trip to whatever exotic locale calls you. And without all that crap to carry along, your luggage will be much lighter. You have nothing to lose but your curling iron, hair dryer and potions.

  40. October 8, 2010 11:35 AM

    I usually blog at work, so, yeah…no, I don’t usually blog nude. Could bring a whole new level of interesting to work, which we sorely need…

    Anyway! Happy Birthday! You are not alone with JUST cats, you are alone with cats and also many, many devoted readers which, in fact, makes you not alone at all!

  41. October 8, 2010 12:20 PM

    My darling lady! Happy birthday! On my birthday in April, my cat coughed up a tremendous hairball, which is a rarity for her and really captured the momentous occasion, I think. I hope it was a fantastic day full of your special brand of fail and maybe even some nonfails? The interwebs celebrates 30 years of you!

  42. October 8, 2010 1:34 PM

    Happy (belated) Birthday!! October birthdays Rock! (My younger bro’s b-day was also yesterday….39!)

    Truly enjoy your blog…

  43. October 8, 2010 1:47 PM

    Happy 30th Birthday!!!

    Firstly, I used to blog while naked too…but then my boss was all…”You have to wear clothes in the office…I’m not telling you again!” Apparently it’s some kind of health code thingy. So now I wear a scarf and shoes when I blog.

    Secondly, thirty isn’t too bad. If it makes you feel better I just turned 45 and I’m L-I-V-I-N’ the good life. I was single at thirty also and thought it would never happen where I’d met the girl I wanted to marry but a funny thing happened I met her by accident where every cosmic force was at work because if it wasn’t we would have never met at all. It will happen for you too…keep the faith Chickie!

  44. October 8, 2010 2:14 PM

    Happy happy 30th year!!! Yippee!!

    I looked forward to 30 for a long time. I loved my 30th year, it was one of the best. Though now, I’d say my 40’s are even better. Way better. You get better with age, my dear.

    The gal I met in my 30th year? Married, then divorced, long gone. Married my now husband in my, uh, 37th year? And now I’m 44. The cycle of life and love is what that is. As it is and will be for you as well.

    Love, big love to you. Marian

  45. October 8, 2010 5:06 PM

    Awwwwww! I feel like amazing people have come to me through blogging as well, and YOU are of course my favorite one.

    I blog in the nude too! Or in the bush, whatever. And I would not be insulted if you did the same in my living room, although at first it might be weird. Maybe we should get a coffee first.

    I AM NEVER JOKING when I say come visit. I already have an LA weekend planned for us that includes breaking and entering a series of donut shops and buying expensive cat furniture on Melrose. I already know we have tons in common, so you are welcome any time even though it’s not Europe and the only thing people are talking about here is the weather.

    I spent the days after my 30th birthday alone, and I’m so glad I did. Time to think about the next part of your life, which will be amazing because you have new goals and a confidence you surely didn’t have years ago. YAY! Celebrate.

    LOVE to you and los gatos.

  46. October 8, 2010 5:15 PM

    And I’m not intentionally screwing up my comments! But here a second so we’re even.

  47. October 8, 2010 5:15 PM

    first off, you know i think this post is beautiful. yet snarky. just like you.

    second off, i’ll let the link itself explain why i’m posting it:

  48. October 8, 2010 5:55 PM

    Happy birthday! A day late! Aurora and I hung out once so far and we keep planning to do it again, but she is in the middle of moving, so I suck for not updating you.

  49. October 8, 2010 9:57 PM

    Don’t know what to say, you guys. Really. You humble me. The kindness of strangers never ceases to amaze me. Many, many thanks.

  50. October 8, 2010 10:12 PM

    These comments are awesome and now I know the end of The Aurora Storealis! Wow, that is such a relief that no-one died.

    In the words of the magnificently sweet and talented Australian singer/songwriter, Josh Pyke, “time is like the ocean, you can only hold a little in your hands.”

    And the older you get, the sweeter it is. Happy birthday charming young girl.

    Also, could everybody note that 30s and 40s don’t need an APOSTROPHE. Word of warning, neither does 50s.

    Another lyric from Josh Pyke as birthday present: “If I could bottle up the sea-breeze I would bring it over to your house and let it loose through your garden.”

  51. October 9, 2010 8:48 AM

    “Doesn’t everyone blog in the nude? Just me, then? All right.”

    Oh hell no, I do it all the time. I must admit though, it can make it uncomfortable for people around my office.

  52. October 9, 2010 11:13 AM

    30’s the new 40. But that’s ok cuz 40s the new 20!
    happy 30s;)

  53. October 9, 2010 11:38 AM

    Christ, chile, I’m 35 and wondering when my teeth are going to fall out. Eish.

  54. October 9, 2010 7:43 PM

    Happy belated birthday!

    30 was a great year for me, looking back from the ripe, old age of 33. I wish you all the best.

  55. October 10, 2010 5:00 AM

    I too was lured here by Nurse Myra of the Gimcrack. I’m super impressed that your birthday was the catalyst for Nurse revealing her own particular crack on Corset Friday! Can you turn 30 more often?

    I only have 3 more months of 30 to go. It’s rad. Happy snappy birthday from Mitzi G and Jazzy the Cat.

  56. October 10, 2010 7:31 AM

    Funniest f**king thing I’ve read all night. And happy, slightly belated birthday from another “alone with cat.” (single, I’m thinking that the number of cats is directly proportional to number of single years under your belt, I’m only pushing 28)

    Cheers — Jen

  57. October 10, 2010 1:11 PM

    Finally got around to read some posts after being away a while…so a big HAPPY belated BIRTHDAY!! And don’t worry, it only gets better after 30. 🙂

  58. October 10, 2010 1:37 PM

    Belated birthday wishes to you: Rock on!

  59. Roxanne permalink
    October 10, 2010 3:41 PM

    So I know I am totally 3 days late—moving to LA and starting a PhD program has kept me incredibly busy and gotten me behind on my blog-reading, who knew?–but I want to wish you the happiest birthday ever. You have made many of our lives more enjoyable since starting this blog nearly a year ago. It’s such a joy to come on here and read the hilarious misfortunes of someone so similar and yet so much more awesome than myself. Wishing you the best Alone…with Cats….I mean, Jessica!

  60. October 11, 2010 1:19 AM

    Happy belated Birthday, you’re funny, and awesome.

    yes, everyone blogs naked. If it’s a particularly funny post I’m told the high school girls fondle each other and compete on the number of time they can fit love and slut into a sentence.

    I give advice to Al-Qaeda all the time, those silly buggers just don’t listen.

  61. October 11, 2010 1:22 PM

    Happy 30th! I’m trying to come up with something profound and witty, but I recently turned 40 and suspect I have early onset of a whatever that disease is called where you lose your ability to think straight. Being single is not a bad thing. You’re like Cane (with cats), walking the earth, finding your path, doin’ your thang…

    Besides, we’re ALL alone, together (someone smart said that, and while it’s depressing as shit, it’s also reassuring in a strange way). xo

  62. October 11, 2010 8:19 PM

    Anyone who gets a special corset friday from Nursemyra has to be cool. And you are, so that would make me the fourth man to read your blog.

  63. October 11, 2010 9:43 PM

    Happy (sort of a few days late) birthday! 🙂 I am only 21 and have no idea what being thirty is like, but I’m pretty sure it’s WAY better than being 21….considering how immature people my age seem to be >.<

  64. October 12, 2010 7:22 AM

    I’m sorry I missed your b-day. I hope it was great! I’m not sure what to do for my 30th.

    I did laser hair removal…Loving it!

  65. October 12, 2010 4:50 PM

    So halfway through your post I burst out laughing, then managed to stop myself halfway through. So, basically, I just emitted a high half-guffaw, which is probably suspicious to my coworkers. If I get fired, your birthday is totally to blame. And then I’d be forced to write a nasty note to Liz Lemon, which would be pretty weird, as I don’t even have her address. And I don’t believe those stories about the post office being crazy impressive and actually tracking down Santa Claus and hand delivering those kids’ letter, ’cause come on, that’s why he lives in Freaking Antarctica, so he doesn’t have to deal with kids those other 364 days. If he loved kids all year round he’d live in Cinderella’s Castle in Disneyland. Unless he tried to and Walt stopped him, which makes sense because I’ve heard he was racist, and I’m pretty sure Santa is Dutch. I’m not clear if that’s a distinct race, but I think it might be. And if now you’re confused because you thought Santa actually lived at the North Pole, well, you’ve bought into the lies.

  66. October 13, 2010 8:51 PM

    I can’t believe I missed your birthday. Stupid fucking ass job is taking up all my time.

    You are amazing. I’m not sure how I got here, I don’t remember, but I do know that I am always ALWAYS fucking excited to see that you’ve got a new post up. Or that you’re on twitter. Even though it kind of makes me feel like a stalker. But a loving one. One that only wants you to be happy. Happiness is what I’m about. Happiness for you. Only for you. And your cats.

    And I think I need to go to bed.

    Seriously. Happy birthday. 30 is fucking amazing – particularly when it’s you that’s 30.

  67. October 13, 2010 11:08 PM

    Happy belated 30th birthday! My mom just turned 30 today. Or at least that’s what she taught my son to say…

    It’s nice not to be alone even when we think we are alone. or name our blog with alone. in it. except the cats of course.

  68. madeaclay permalink
    October 15, 2010 1:12 AM

    Approaching 30 myself, there are many things I thought I’d be which I am not. While those weigh heavily, I am also several things for which I never dared even to hope. Here’s to the next 10 years of things we won’t even consider, my *old* friend.

  69. October 15, 2010 5:11 PM

    Happy birthday. 30? well I’m sure you’re wise and have great selfsteem by now wich will only make things easier for you.
    You are a beautiful writer, you speak your mind and I notice that.
    Don’t worry a great gal like you won’t be single for long!

    Although I’m gonna dare and give you some advice. I’m single to and I’m starting to see things with different color glasses now.
    You should probably change your head-chip to Isn’t great to be single, I can do whatever I want whenever I want. Swich to happy thoughts until the righ one comes along!

    In spanish they say : mejor sola que mal acompañada wich means you’re better alone than with someone who doesn’t desirve you. So enjoy your freedom now! You’ll met the women of your life eventualy and then you’ll be complaining about compromise hahaha

    Anyhow HAPPY B-DAY Alone with cats!!!
    ohh and you are not alone I see a lot of people here who seem to really love ya!!


  70. October 15, 2010 6:46 PM

    I’m behind on blogs and missed your birthday! Happy belated birthday! I was alone on my 30th birthday. Newly divorced (well, I think it was official a few weeks later), sitting at a friend’s wedding watching everyone else dance on the actual day. Fast forward a few months and I met my new husband and married him a year later when I was 31!

    Turning 30 freed me from a lot of things. I’m sharing the most imporant one with you. Are you ready…

    Date for you. Don’t settle for someone because they want to be with you. Of course people want to be with you, you’re awesome. And just because they want to be with you doesn’t make them right for you. You have to want to be with them. More than you want to be with anyone else. Don’t be afraid to date. You’ve got to kiss a lot of frogs (frogettes?!) to find your Princess. But she’s out there! Start thinking about what you really really want and need in a partner. Look for that and don’t settle for less.

    I hope my wise words help you!

    xo Susie

    • Dizzy permalink
      October 18, 2010 8:42 AM

      What fantastic advice! I second Susie. I wish someone had gotten this through my head a long time ago. It is lovely to be loved by someone & of course you deserve that & you will have it because you really are an amazing woman, but it is nothing like being in love & I really didn’t know there was a difference for a very long time.

  71. October 15, 2010 10:11 PM

    My cup runneth over! This is my favorite post of yours in a long time, or possibly EVER (although there’s tough competition for that)! I can relate on so many levels; maybe all your other fabulous readers feel that way when they read what you write too, and that’s why they offer marriage and visits to their homes and transformation from straight to gay (oh, I read the comments, yes, plus I’ve offered at least 2 out of 3 myself).

    Turning 30 didn’t bother me that much for some reason, probably because I was too strung out and overwhelmed with my pending bankruptcy case to notice how old I was. But this year, turning 34 (which is like ALMOST 35!) really got to me! I mean, I think it has subtly kicked off some sort of crisis, the 1/3 life crisis or whatever. I guess it’s because at 35, hey, I’m old enough to be President of the U.S.! And what comes after that really? Plus, after 35, jobs like police officer and military personnel don’t let you apply anymore unless you have experience. Not that I was going for those jobs SPECIFICALLY, but I mean, the thought that I will soon be too OLD for some jobs is … upsetting. And then follows the thought: Do I now LOOK too old for some jobs on top of actually being too old? oy.

    However, when I dump that overly-emotional side of myself on the side of the road, and get in touch with LOGIC, I truly have noticed that for us women, 40 or even 50 is the new 30. Maybe it’s a cliche, but when I look at real-life ladies who are older than I am, doing their thing, lookin’ fabulous, and HAPPY and HEALTHY, I feel like maybe all this worry is just a waste of time. I hope so!

    Anyway, happy late birthday to you! If you are ever in Chicago, we will go celebrate birthdays- yours, mine, our cats’ and whoever else is around! That’s not a joke either, c’mon out! 🙂

  72. October 16, 2010 5:01 PM

    This is the first time I’ve left a comment (and any replies will go back to that email address that is real but is the one I use for ordering thing cause I never trust the “oh no we won’t add you to our mailing list we promise” privacy policies”) but I read all the time for your hysterical stories and views on life. I have your blog bookmarked on my Blackberry and when I feel down
    (and also when I don’t) I come to your site, hoping to find a new entry. If there isn’t one, I re-read old ones. Without fail, I laugh my ass off.

    And your love of kittehs makes you awesome no matter what. Blogging nekkid is just a great big bonus.

    You and your cats are welcome with me and my three cats anytime in Pittsburgh. Although I’m not sure how you’d get in touch with me. Guess I will just have to keep checking your blog. 🙂

    Happy birthday! And fyi, it gets a lot easier after 30.

  73. October 19, 2010 8:59 AM

    Happy (belated) birthday!

    I turned 30 in July. I too was single. Just met someone a couple of weeks ago who actually lives in the same city! And I didn’t even have to resort to OK Cupid to meet her!

    Of course it’s been 2 weeks and you know what that means for lesbians…still I’m going to be an adult – as my age demonstrates – and take it slowly. I think…

    30 has been pretty damn good for me. So far.

  74. October 22, 2010 9:53 AM

    Happy belated birthday! Loved this post – and love your blog!

    This is the second post I’ve read about turning 30. I also turn 30. Next month. Both your post and the other mentioned being in Europe for the big 3-0. I will be in Europe. But. I am having trouble remembering that I will be turning 30. I’m a little distracted. In a good way – Europe has a way of doing that to you. The friend I am traveling with here bought me a really nice dinner as a pre-celebration… I forgot and tried to help pay the bill. Does that make me weird?

    Well. Regardless. Enjoy it, keep writing and living it up, and this IS what it’s all about. The more I live, the more I know that.

  75. December 29, 2010 3:52 PM

    I totally stole some of those cookies from Mer’s kitchen before she sent them. And I didnt even know who you were yet. And now I know. And I’ve spent the last day and a half reading your blog during my few free minutes in between calls at work. Hah. Awesome. I ate your cookies. 😛

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