In the words of Liz Lemon, “blerg” and “nerds”
Me: I’ve been having really weird dreams for the past week.
Dana: Are they realistic dreams? Or not so much?
Me: Actually, they’ve been an odd mix of dead grandparents and sex.
Me: Not together.
Dana: Grateful for small mercies.
Me: Ugh. I just realized it’s been a year since I got dumped.
Dana: Oy. I’m sorry.
Me: Time. It flies.
Dana: At least it’s flying away from the girl who dumped you.
Me: Yes, but unfortunately not flying toward anyone else.
Me: Except in my dreams.
Me: The ones not about my dead grandparents.
Me: To be clear.
Dana: You are; you just don’t know who yet.
Me: Meh. Julie Andrews isn’t even interested in me.
Me: Even though she’s totally single now.
Me: Because her husband died.
Dana: I vote for finding someone younger.
Me: Meh. Meh is all I have to say.
Dana: Someday, my friend.
Me: Oh, I can also say blah.
Dana: But do you harrumph?
Me: Not really, but I can cough up a heart sigh for emphasis.
Dana: A heart sigh?
Me: An apropos typo, but I meant “hearty.” Like stew.
Dana: You’re funny.
Me: Uh huh.
Me: (Apparently, I can type to you only in grunty words.)
Me: I was trying to transition us to animal sounds.
Me: … is the sound my life partners make.
Dana: I suppose it would be inappropriate to say mrow.